Couples Therapy

Providing Couples Therapy in NYC

What is Couples Therapy:

Couples Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on the interpersonal dynamic between two individuals. In couples therapy, an emphasis is placed on learning how to better understand and communicate with your partner. The therapist will help you identify what cycles of interaction are causing you to feel stuck and will teach you skills to express yourself more effectively. Together, you will identify common triggers and points of tension, and work backwards to develop strategies to better cope and manage these conflicts. If there is historical pain, you will process it together, developing a shared understanding of what these experiences mean to you and your partner. This type of therapeutic process helps you build connections between how other relationships (romantic, familial, and platonic) impact the way you show up and interact with your current partner. You will also explore themes related to identity and power and gain a better awareness of how different factors impact your attachment and communication style. Whether you just met or have been married for 50 years, couples therapy can be a great tool to enhance and strengthen any relationship.

Improve Relationship Difficulties

There are certain moments in life that force couples to look at their relationship through a different lens. Usually these moments revolve around a milestone (i.e. moving, starting a new job, getting engaged, having children, etc.). As life unfolds and individuals change, couples must work together to ensure they are communicating well and acting aligned with one another’s values. Couples therapy is a great way to help partners navigate these changes in both themselves and in their life circumstances in order to arrive on the other side even closer than they were before. Conversely, when some couples hit a fork in the road, they might discover that they have grown so far apart that the relationship is no longer healthy. A therapist can then help facilitate the difficult conversations that are necessary to determine what is in the best interest of the couple.

Work On Communication Issues

One of the biggest challenges to communicating effectively with your partner is a lack of clarity over what it is you actually want to express. Sensitive topics can be tricky to navigate when emotions are at play. Your therapist will help you zero in on what it is you are actually feeling, help you understand why you feel that way, and then give you tools to communicate it in a way that your partner can truly hear and receive. Couples therapy provides space for partners to think out loud and organize their thoughts in a manner that feels supportive and non-threatening. Talking about sex, money, and life goals can feel very uncomfortable and even become overwhelming when it’s been avoided and when hurt feelings may have built up. If you’ve gotten to a point in your relationship where it feels nearly impossible to broach these topics, it is important to seek out professional help. A therapist will give you strategies to tolerate discomfort, explore your feelings, and work through these challenging topics.

Improve Intimacy

Everyone has different needs when it comes to feeling intimately connected to their partners. Oftentimes physical intimacy wanes when an emotional connection is lacking. A couples therapist will help you identify what barriers are getting in the way of feeling close to your partner, and will help you articulate it in a way that provides space for an open dialogue, rather than defensiveness. Together you will explore your sexual history and preferences and identify strategies for creating or reigniting that passionate spark.

Why Couples Therapy?

In Couples Therapy, the focus of the work is on the relationship itself, rather than on one of the individuals, so couples therapy provides unique benefits. Partners will learn to view the relationship as a system to tackle together, as opposed to attacking one another. Couples therapy can be used to work through a current problem, mitigate the potential for future problems, or simply provide maintenance for a generally happy couple that is experiencing a period of transition or momentary friction. Common areas of concern discussed in couples therapy include:

  • Sex
  • Infidelity
  • Family dynamics
  • Chronic health issues
  • Infertility
  • Finances
  • Parenting
  • Substance use
  • Communication issues
  • Frequent conflicts

One of the biggest misconceptions about couples therapy is that it is only needed for couples with serious issues or on the verge of divorce. In reality, therapy can be beneficial for any couple looking to promote better understanding and communication. Since the quality of our relationships has such a big effect on the quality of our lives, couples therapy can also be a great way to improve individual mental health and overall well-being.